Monday, October 31, 2005
A 'Seinfeld' Halloween
Sure-fire formula for a fun time: Mix a favorite holiday with a favorite TV show. A friend's shindig had 3 Soup Nazis, 6 Junior Mint-wielding doctors, and "Crazy" Joe Davola* (left). Other costumes:
Who's who: 2. Bubble Boy (Deb Humpl). 3. The Big Salad (Kathy Miller). 4. A product Elaine used (Deana Weiser). 5. A doc with an odd name (Jay Weiser).
Sorry, I didn't get a picture of Sue Ellen Mischke.
*Davola (portrayed by Dave Miller) dressed as an opera clown after Elaine dumped him.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
White House fears Onion, Halloween
Not funny, says the administration about satirical site theonion.com displaying the presidential seal with spoofs of Bush radio addresses. "I would advise them to look for that other guy, Osama ... rather than comedians," said Scott Dikkers, Onion editor-in-chief. In this week's "radio address," the Prez outlines the next step in the War on Terror: Let's make Halloween a holy holiday, not with ghosts but the Holy Ghost. In related "news," the big story is "Trick-or-treaters to be subject to random bag searches," with the feds on the lookout for fear-mongers like the guys pictured above. Read story.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Others pointed it out: WIP's Howard "The King" Eskin bears an eerie resemblance to the Burger King. But the similarities go beyond facial hair, bling, heavy garments and familiarity with football fields:
... One makes hamburgers, the other makes hamburger out of callers.
... One competes with Ronald McDonald, the other with WPEN's Jody McDonald.
Or, as emailers suggested:
... One makes you fat, the other makes you sick. (From James)
... One is a royal pain, the other wears a crown. (Peter)
... They're both scary looking. (Thomas)
... Both make great Halloween characters. (Rob)
... I heard they're both pretty handy around pickles. (Mike)
Have another idea? Post it here.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Not on Steroids?
Steroid abuse in sports got you down? Don't despair. Some sports figures have horrible physiques! How refreshing that golfer Phil Mickleson (black hat) could use a sports bra. Click to view some more characters off our 'roid radar:
2. Ex-Sixer Shawn Bradley is the tallest geek since Ex-Sixer Manute Bol.
3. OK, maybe sumo wrestlers are buff beneath the blubber.
4. This guy looks innocent enough ... except for being green.
5. Westminster show winner looks like dogdom's Kate Moss.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The Ig Nobel Prize
You're gonna laugh, and yet be impressed. For inventing artificial testicles for dogs, Gregg Miller has been awarded this year's Ig Nobel Prize for medicine. Every year at Harvard, the Annals of Improbable Research honors creativity that brings a smile. Miller has sold more than 150,000 of his Neuticles, more than doubling his $500,000 investment. "Considering my parents thought I was an idiot when I was a kid, this is a great honor," he said. See story.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Top 10 Questions Letterman
Should Have Asked T.O.
10. What, your "family" can't cope on, like, $12 million?
9. Will coach Andy Reid wear tights if you score 15 TDs this season?
8. How's this idea: Capri pants and 12 TDs?
7. What's up with the rumors you got engaged?
6. Is it to that Desperate Housewives babe? (Nicolette Sheridan, right, in infamous Monday Night Football bit.)
5. Best man: Donovan McNabb?
4. Don't you just want to play special teams and bust some skulls, you know what I mean?
3. Would you autograph this cool Eagles NFC Championship ring I just bought for
$48,000 on eBay?
2. How come your touchdown dances suck this season?
1. You sure we want to see Andy Reid in tights?
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Poetry With a Punchline
Nipsey Russell, comic actor and game-show guest, has died. See story. He was known for his short, funny poems. Here are a few:
If you want to get even with your low-down friends
Who treated you rotten to the core.
Give a party, serve nothing but beer
And lock the bathroom door.
The opposite of pro is con
That fact is clearly seen
If progress means move forward
Then what does Congress mean?
People say a mermaid is beautiful
I can't see the reason why
Not an easy woman to make love to
And it's not a fish to fry.
Heard that one on Letterman last night.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Flyers Need a Mascot
A rough-and-tumble sport like hockey seems a natural for having a mascot. But not some dumb duck like Anaheim's Wild Wing. What do you think of these?
The Penalty Ox. A tribute to the bull in Broad Street Bullies. "English Bobby" Clarke
Psycho, a nut in an old lady wig, in honor of coach Hitchcock.
The Fall Guy. Isn't "Ice + idiot = injuries" a formula for laughter?
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