Monday, March 20, 2006
... is Haverford grad (local angle alert!) Dave Barry's blog, where he posts comments during the actual show each week. And not only him. So do scores of other wingnuts/fans who quip/gasp five times faster than Fox can kill off cast members. I am going to quote 37 remarks from last night's narrative (there's a whole 24 archive), which will look like stealing, but, trust me, it took me minutes to boil 450-plus remarks down into this handy "excerpt." Besides, I'll bet 24 fans get a bigger kick out of this than some of the stuff I've been posting lately. Here goes:
• Second thought? I never knew the president had first ones!
• President Manilow has some kind of adenoid problem that necessitates First Ramparts to speak directly up into his nostrils.
• Look, Edgar's body is STILL on the floor...they apparently couldn't find a stretcher big enough...
• Isn't "Homeland" the people who assessed New Orleans for us?
• Chloe has laser eyes of death! [Her photo's above.]
• So it took them, what, five minutes to get troops all over Los Angeles?
• When Collette bites it, can I have her boots?
• I think it's good that Edgar's dead. He wouldn't have liked being absorbed by Homeland.
• Into the stairwell! Let's all run together in a pack!!!
• wait guys, I've got it! A perimeter! Yes, that's it, let's set up a perimeter!
• thigh shooting scene, coming up
• I think they pressed the button on the Random Plot Generator, and it said: Germans. Posted by: Dave
• Alright, we've killed off 54 secondary characters in the last 60 minutes. Time to introduce 54 more.
• Whoa! Friskin' mighty close to those canisters, fella!
• How did so many absolute nutcase weenies get in charge of our government agencies? On the show that is.
• Standard line from Chloe: "I can't do it! ...okay, fine."
• OK, I vote for less talking and computers, and more pointless violence. Posted by: Dave
• OK, I am still trying to get my mind around the fact that, since this episode started, they apparently managed to shut down ALL THE ROADS IN LOS ANGELES. Posted by: Dave
• Everyone's gonna fight to frisk her.
• Har! The old exploding memory chip trick! Posted by: Dave
• I'm going to make an exploding version of everything I own.
• Volvo, if you are reading this blog (and you know you are): Your current ad campaign bites. Posted by: Dave
• Don't give up hope yet. It's never too late for a thigh shot or an attempted razor-blade eye-ectomy.
• This is the worst episode in like, weeks. Posted by: Dave
• Sumpin' gonna happen to Brother Palmer
• Finally! Some violence!
• Was that the A-Team in that van?
• HOLY AUDREY TERRORIST TRAITOR, Batman!!!!
• Next week: Jack chokes Audrey! Posted by: Dave
• Jack has a little problem with relationships I think
• Jack's willing to strangle Audrey...yet won't lay a hand on Collette. What's up with that?
• I think this opens the door Chloe's been waiting for.....
• I think they're gonna pull a Boston Legal and replace the entire cast.
• Anybody know why they are after Wayne Palmer (and who 'they' are?)?
• YOU THINK JACK'S HAVING A BAD DAY ... How would you like to be the headline writer at the LA TIMES:
Car Bombing in Glendale, no Wait ... Former President Assasinated, no wait ... Hostage Taking at airport, no wait ... Gas at the Galleria, no wait ... Bazooka attack in Pomona, no wait ... Marshall Law Declared, no wait ... Mad Cow in Georgia, Bird flu in Belgium ... I QUIT
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